Apparently paying off all your debt can Ironically put you back into debt. I owe the IRS considerably this federal tax season, because I took out money from my retirement to pay off my debts before leaving Dayton to go on this journey. I even withheld 15% giving the government more so the bite come tax season wouldn’t be as hard. But even after taking that bite, they needed more. Like $3000 more. I’m confused. I’ve worked hard, I’ve paid off my loans, I’ve done what I’m told as far as compliance with model citizenship, but by playing the game, by their laws, I’ve been penalized. I’ve even lost the ability to simply apply for health insurance, and they will begin to fine me for not having it, simply because I missed their arbitrary application window. I am also dealing with fraud issues because 2 separate companies were withdrawing money from my account in Ohio. It seems as though all the things I needed to finish up in order to leave are coming back to bite me, but this bite is worth it and I’m actually more free because of it. I love my country. But I do see some holes in their game, and I also see how a narcissist maniac like trump is getting the support of people simply tired and aware of that game. We don’t want to play it anymore, we want to experience what’s beyond the stick holding the carrot. Even if it’s voting for the “do not push this button” candidate. Prepare for the reset people. Because it’s going to happen soon enough. I’m so happy I left the life of treading water to learn farming and self reliance while traveling when I did, although I had to delay my trip to Yosemite and miss a couple opportunities in order to square my debt with the government, I’m better, and stronger for it. The reason for the delay.. I have been asked by my employer, the steel company, to give another week’s worth of work, I needed the money, I wasn’t whoring myself out, so I said yes, and found myself in a situation were I was able to help them, and my debt. When people ask me for things, I say yes. even if I get burned, I will say yes again and again. But this was also an opportunity for me to reestablish my value to my employer and have them reconsider raising my pay for my final week. All the money I am earning is going towards my debt. A debt I incurred for paying off my debt, with my earned money from retirement savings, and the car wreck in New Mexico didn’t help either. This has been a weird time for me, but it has also shown me that nothing can hold me back. Nothing will hold me back. I have been a part of lower wages for reasons such as being single, not having a family, my tattoos, being young, being too nice, even my level of energy, which actually pushes others around me to do more. My output and work ethic has always been one of the highest at every position I have worked. I cannot imagine anyone giving me anything less than a glowing reference. Yet I find myself in situations that seem unfair because of my personality and generous, loving spirit, which I will never change. This journey is many things for me. It is my search in finding that like minded spirit, and those places will be my oasis of opportunity when considering my final destination, when or if I ever have to choice one. I know they want me to stay, and that they will miss me when I’m gone. This has been the story of my life, and proved to me time and time again that my value is high. I work harder and happier when the carrot is in my hand, not on the stick. It helps me realize the environments I find myself in, and whether those are places that give or take. I have no intention on burning the bridge I built with my employers, and my answer is yes, if or when that time comes to work remotely. I have never been greedy and I give whatever help I can to every situation I find myself in, in spite of how it affects me. I asked only for that same understanding when considering my unique situation and their opportunity to help me through it. I thanked them both for helping me during my time in Arizona, and told them how much I appreciated all they have done for me, and I sincerely hope I have given back to them what they have provided for me. Basically, metaphorically… And literal telling them that I’m struggling while in “the collection plate of life” at this moment in mine, I’ve just been passed to them, and god is watching us. I’m happy to say I’m finishing up my final week at work, and in Tucson with my earned pay increase, and I know the universe is proud of everyone I’ve had the pleasure of sharing time and experiences with. As far as experiences go, obviously the farm is a big one, although I worked so much I didn’t have as many chances to understand the process, just execute it. But doing is learning, so I certainly learned my share in a very unique climate for farming. I’ve also made great friends that will last my lifetime, and I have another job waiting for me if I choice to come back to Tucson. Happiness and opportunity are abundant on my adventure. I even had the opportunity to travel to another music festival with my artist friends and their art collective installation, just outside of San Diego. The Desert Hearts music festival; house music with like 50 constantly rotating DJ’s and a week long primally fueled energy transmission. No phone service, no east coast attitudes, the beats never stopped. It was amazing, such a completely different vibe. Hugs were being given out like candy on Halloween. So much of everything was at this place, and It got twice as crowded each day. The concert is literally 3 days of non stop, through the night primal music. Drums at a constant, powered by the highest quality sound gear, and a community with positive loving energy at its heart. The art installation my friends created and travel with brought in just as many people as a vendor’s booth, and I’ve never seen so many interesting humans in one space. Some were uniquely comical while others were filled with zen like energies. But practically everyone was dressed up… Or dressed down seems like a better wording since the lack of clothing has seemed to become the final fashion frontier. Shorts on girls are getting so short it’s out of style unless your asshole is exposed. And some of these human butterflies are so intoxicatingly dependent on catatonic states of mind, they might as well be a shuffling caveman. Although that specifically might be the reasons I connect this festival with something more primal, as though the vortex of heavy drum and bass music, fused with love and community (and for some, drugs) brought us closer to our more primitive ancestors. Overall the experience was unforgettable, amazing and extremely entertaining. And after 72 hours of non stop house music it was kinda hard to fall asleep the night after without, but I made it through, and made a lot of friends along the way. Most the people were from San Diego or LA. Lots of cool people that travel and work as digital nomads. Smart and proactive; farmers, techs, engineers and artists. All traveling together in weirdo awesome groups of spiraling friendships. I’m rapidly turning into a wanderer. And my energy is not only excepted, it’s cultivated and encouraged. People don’t come back from these places for a reason. No attention seeking, just extremely unique beautiful creative people. They listen, they love, live passionately, and give back. Everyone is just happier, it’s difficult to explain. It’s weird. But it feels like home… In not having a home, I’ve found one. But I seriously can not wait to get myself to Yosemite, and Bear, my next teacher. Bear won’t be disappointed when I arrive. I work hard and with enthusiasm, and my tank is always full, with my foot on the gas. Add in the love and compassion I have for harmony, with my discipline and consistency and you begin to get an idea of the energy I can bring. Every place I go wants me to stay.. when I leave, they are better due to my contribution. Southwinds Farm has created more production through my systems and life has been heavily breathed back into his passion for the farm he started 3 years ago. He has even taken 2 separate week long vacations because of his confidence and trust in me to run the farm in his absence. My bosses at The steel shop are able to breath and relax a little more as well because I have helped carry some of their weight on my shoulders through my project management and detailing experience. They also have taken a much needed break because of my ability to maintain coordination and competence. By adding another week on my schedule I will give them the opportunity to take a working holiday in northern Arizona to volunteer with a passionate charity of theirs. My traveling artist friends have benefited from my stay because I have put together and organized aspects about their cluttered artistic mind space. My new perspective has helped them apply themselves in putting together approval documents and bid proposals to help promote themselves and get their art installation excepted into as many music festivals and art shows as possible. (www.facebook.com/themomentbeforeawakening) I breath life into whatever is around me. I push forward and highlight the agenda bestowed upon me by others. My bucket is always full and I am always willing to give. Yes, I am looking for beautiful soil to plant my roots in, but until then I will travel and adventure and journey myself from one amazing situation to the next, giving what I can along the way and improving any area I find myself in. In the hopes that one day.. I will find who or what I’m looking for. Or come back to it. I find myself excepting and believing in everything. This world is so complicated, it’s all true. Everything. This life is our heaven.. or our hell. The next level, whether or not we are qualified to make it there within our lives is just another step towards the infinite. And we get as many chances as it takes. But eventually I will make it to the stars. And to God. The beautiful unknown. I level up each life. I will not devo to the level of a cockroach. I will evolve. I am evolving. The key to success is clearing your mind. It has to be clear to accept and give room for the things in life you want to attract. The most prolific artists are the ones that possess discipline. In as many forms as possible. It will be a reflection onto your art. Anyone can do “art” but the artist lives and breaths art. In the morning is art. Before bed is art. The highest level is achieved through that consistency. But living as an artist can be a fine line between that and just being lazy and not wanting to work. Talent with work ethic is the combination that reaches out to touch humanity. And every last one of us, has the ability to be an artist..

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